So last Saturday, I confessed to my ex that I still liked him. Nothing happened. He just applauded me for my bravery. XD Nothing happened.

I'm seriously hating myself right now.

He's a jerk. He pretended to ask me out on April Fools' Day, he treated me like shit, he just toyed with me.

So why do I like him so much?

I guess it's just the fact that I've liked him since I was in first grade, when I met him. I kinda hung out with him in first grade, was his friend in third for a little bit. I still remember in first grade when we played four corners during P.E. I was trying to choose a corner, so he comes over, grabs my hand, and we go to a corner together. I guess that's when I started liking him...

Every time I think about him, I swear, my heart starts hurting, I feel sad, yet can't help but to smile when I think of him.

Now I've been having dreams about him! Every night!

Like last night. It haunted me all day!!!

I dreamt I saw him standing in a rose garden, with an umbrella shielding him from the rain. I run to him. Next thing, out of nowhere, waltz music starts playing. We hug, and we waltz while he tries to keep the umbrella up. Next thing you know, I kiss him. He drops the umbrella, and we're kissing in the rain.

EWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha, I'm guessing that'd be the reaction from a few people who are reading this...

GAH, I'm hopeless.

What do I do...